Fighting Dreamers: Ouran Style!
by Van 'n' Kim
Summary: Ouran High has been issued a buddybuddy system to further prove to the world how awesome of a school it is, but what are those strange people dressed in black cloud cloaks? Wait, they're students? What is the Host club to do? SPOILERS Naruto Ouran cross
1. Partnership Program

Van: I'm so sorry! If any of you are familiar with Spirit of the Byakugan, I really wanted to get this down first! XD It was stuck in my head for weeks! Wah! I hope anyone out there enjoys this story just as I have thinking it out! By the way, if anyone wants any pairings, don't hesitate for suggestions, but don't spam me.

Note here! There may be spoilers! If you wish not to know certain things, please DO NOT READ!!!

Disclaimer: Kishimoto owns Naruto, Hatori owns Ouran, not me.

Chapter One: Partnership Program

Ouran Private Academy is defined by...

One, prestigious families, and two, wealth.

And prosperous people have much time on their hands.

Therefore this Ouran Host Club is about...

These handsome guys that have time,

Giving hospitality to these lovely ladies that also have time,

And profiting off them.

It's an elegant game unique to this super rich school.

"And done!"

A screen turned off as a blonde clicked a remote. He turned towards his friends who were staring at the now blank overhead. "So what do you think?!" He asked excited.

The boys did not speak. Finally one did, tilting his glasses while sighing.

"Tamaki... How much did this cost?"

* * *

_Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh_

_Kiss Kiss Fall in Love!_

----------------------------

"Partnership program?" Haruhi blinked.

"A requirement for the whole school. It's a project to show how proficient Ouran is at getting along with others." Kyoya explained.

"Oh? Do we pick our partners?" asked the girl.

A certain king's ears perked up. Why not pick him for a partner?

"Unfortunately," said the ice demon eyeing Tamaki, "No."

An immediate explosion erupted the poor king's thoughts.

"Demo, we don't even get our partners until tomorrow so we have plenty of time!" Hunny smiled lying on Mori's back.

Mori nodded. "Ah."

"Oh really? Time to what?" Haruhi wondered.

"To pray." chorused the twins.

Mori nodded once again.

"I see." She twitched.

"Of course, when you're with your partner, you must participate in their activities and vice-versa." Kyoya grinned. "You will be sure to be here regardless, hmm?"

"Wakata." Haruhi twitched more then sighed. "Well, who knows? This partnering might be fun. I wonder who mine could be."

"Maybe someone who likes cake!"

"Maybe someone with a real sense of humor!"

"Maybe a Hentai!"

The Host club grew silent as their president stood from his corner.

"That's right, we shouldn't be so sure that the partner is a good guy! What if it's some pervert from the D-class?!"

The club (most of them) gasped in shock.

"I shudder to think! What should happen to Haruhi?!" Tamaki glomped Haruhi. "Oh, my daughter! Daddy fears for you so! And Mother! Don't you care what happens to our daughter?"

"Why?" inquired the Otori.

"She could be paired up with anyone! What if that person tricks our poor Haruhi! One minute she's tutoring the evil man," Tamaki showed a billboard that has a stick person and another stick person in a dress reading books. "The next thing, this happens!"

Like one of those flip books for animation, the stick man took the book from the stick person with a dress, toss the book away, and got on top of the stick person with a dress.

The Host club gawked at the king's horrid art.

"So what have we learned today?"

"That milord has bad art skills."

Hikaru's comment stabbed the king's back.

"It won't win any ribbons."

Kaoru's comment sliced through the king's chest.

"Terrible animation."

Kyoya's comment shanked the king's leg.

"It was boring."

Hunny's surprising comment struck the king's other leg.

"Stick people."

Mori's comment struck with thunderbolts.

Tamaki went into his famous depressed position in the corner.

"If you're going to talk about me, do it when I'm not here." Haruhi said, annoyed.

"Wah! Haruhi!" Tamaki cried.

Haruhi sighed, packing her books. "Well, I have to go now, so... I'll see you guys later." With that, she left.

The Host club gulped with a strange gut feeling. Something was going to happen...

* * *

A crowd of people wearing asian hats with ribbons and black cloaks embroidered with scarlet clouds stood in front of the elegant school. It was a bright morning, yet there was no one else around. 

"Ah, so this is the place?"

"Tobi, you better be right, un!"

"Tobi wouldn't lie! Tobi is a good boy, Deidara-sempai."

"**Kukuku... I wonder if there's anyone scrumptious?** We have not eaten lately..."

"Calm down Zetsu..."

"What?! He has the right idea! I didn't have a sacrifice in days! Jashin-sama's been really $#(! moody lately!"

"Tch. Stop complaining, Hidan."

"Says you, Kakuzu! Always money, money, money!"

"Hehehe... Leader-sama, may I have permission to wipe out a few limbs?"

"No, Kisame."

"Aw, a shame, eh, Itachi?"

"Hn."

"Leader. I've finished scouting the perimeter. There's virtually no guards."

"Good, Konan. Now we go."

"Finally!"

"Oy, you should try to be more patient, Sasori-danna. Yeah."

A growl.

* * *

Upon entering, the Akatsuki found themselves inside a grand hallway of pure splendor.

"Sasori-danna... The design is very artistic, un."

"I agree." The puppeteer looked around appreciatively.

"Enough, you two." Leader-sama said. He was then surprised when a woman walked toward them.

She blinked confused before saying, "Why aren't you in your uniforms? Oh never mind. All students need to write their names on this list... Did you get a chance to do so?" She held a paper out for them to see.

The Akatsuki sweatdropped a bit.

"Must we, Sensei?" Leader asked casually playing along with the situation.

All of the Akatsuki members' jaws dropped. "Leader!" They cried in shock.

"Yes. It's a requirement for a program that Ouran High is initiating." She handed the list to the Leader.

Leader sighed and wrote down their names. Their REAL names.

"L-leader! Shouldn't you use aliases?!"

"Oops."

The teacher left with the filled out list.

"Leader-sama, you could have just **let me gobble her up inside my starving belly!**" Zetsu cried.

"Ah, Zetsu, you will find food long enough." Leader sighed.

"It better be quick, I feel his eyes staring at me, un." Deidara muttered.

Konan heaved a breath of exasperation. Perhaps Pein wasn't feeling very well and needs a break.

"That woman was certainly beautiful..." Leader said dazed.

Konan twitched. "Come, I suppose we must go with it for now." She said before Leader could slip anything else about the gorgeous teacher.

The Akatsuki followed Konan's example. They walked to the bill board which had just now been updated.

On the bill board was quite a bit of info on Ouran High School and the type of class, character, and sports the school has to offer. Apparently it was a school of high aristocracy and education.

"Boring, un."

"Some of the people here seem nice." Light Zetsu said.

**"Nice enough to chew!"** Dark Zetsu laughed.

"So... In this Partner program thing these are our partners?"

"It would appear so."

"Hey! Where's my name?!"

"Mine's right here."

"I don't care about (funk)ing yours! I'm talking about (funk)ing mine!"

"Oh look! Yours is over there, Hidan!"

Hidan stared at the billboard that was next to the Ouran billboard. "What?!"

"Leader-sama, what should we do?"

"We came here looking for the hosts of the Bijuu... So we'll simply pretend to be students and play along, that is until we could find information regarding the Bijuu." Leader said. "So now we disperse."

With that, the Akatsuki splitted up, some complaining, some eager, some not so eager, some hungry, some bloodthirsty, and some that were just, "Hm."

* * *

Van: And so the Akatsuki appears in Ouran! What will happen next?! Review, and I shall update! Oh yeah, and just a note here: Sasori is in Hiruko as of this moment.


	2. Names

Van: Whoa! Three reviews already! Thank you Sang'gre Amihan, iruka92, and ! You've made me a very happy authoress! XD

Note here! There may be spoilers! If you wish not to know certain things, please DO NOT READ!!!

Disclaimer: Naruto not mine. Ouran not mine.

Chapter Two: Names

Ouran Private Academy is defined by...

One, prestigious families, and two, wealth.

And prosperous people have much time on their hands.

Therefore this Ouran Host Club is about...

These handsome guys that have time,

Giving hospitality to these lovely ladies that also have time,

And profiting off them.

It's an elegant game unique to this super rich school.

"And done!"

A screen turned off as a blonde clicked a remote. He turned towards a group of adults who were gazing dimly at their watches. "So what do you think?!" He asked excited.

The adults stared. Finally one coughed which caused another sleeping grown-up to jolt up awake.

"O-Oh! It was nice..." The man yawned.

* * *

_Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh_

_Kiss Kiss Fall in Love!_

----------------------------

Haruhi tilted her head at the chart. It was the next day already and everyone's names have been revealed. "Sasori... Huh?"

"Haruhi?"

The girl turned to find Tamaki. "Oh! Sempai!"

"What partner did you get?"

"Someone named Sasori... You?"

"Oh, I just wanted to wait until I meet my partner in order to know her name." Tamaki grinned.

"Her?" She quirked an eyebrow.

"Isn't it obvious?! My partner must be a princess, one that has possible features that are overlooked and scorned!" He cried. His inner theater then began.

-----Tamaki's Innner Theater!-----

A image of a shadowed girl shy and lonely was suddenly met by the dazzling Tamaki Suoh.

"Ohayo princesss..." Tamaki took the girl's hand.

"P-princess? I'm not a princess..." The girl stammered.

"Don't say that... You truly are beautiful..."

"Tamaki!" She breathed as roses bloomed around them.

-----End Tamaki's Inner Theater!-----

The King continued to hug himself as Haruhi sighed.

There was a huge gasp and shriek at the billboard.

Haruhi looked at the commotion to find Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin.

"Hikaru! Doushite... Why? Why do I have to have a different partner from you?" Kaoru cried as a shining tear dripped from his eye and the room became a bit bright.

"Hush, Kaoru, sh. Be strong!" He held his brother tenderly. "We've been through so many obstacles before. We can get through this!"

"Oh, Hikaru! But to be away from you...!"

"Don't worry. I won't let anyone harm what's mine!" Hikaru tightened his grip as a show of his "promise."

"Hikaru!" Kaoru breathed.

A bunch of girls squealed at the scene of twincest.

"Oh, Hikaru, Kaoru. What partners did you get?"

The Hitachiin twins turned toward Haruhi. "Oh Haruhi!"

Haruhi grinned and waited for the answer.

"A fiend named Deidara."

Kaoru hestitated before telling Haruhi, "My partner is... Zetsu."

"Aw, they don't sound so bad." said Haruhi.

"But still, Hikaru and I have never been apart." Kaoru said.

"Yeah, I mean it's not fair! Why do we have to be separated?" said the other twin.

"But that's part of the experience, isn't it?"

The twins blinked at Haruhi's words.

"By learning to have to let go of the other and move forward accordingly... That's part of growing up. You can't help but worry about the other... And the other can't help but worry about you, yet you both have to move on, in order to see each other in the end, ne? I think that _that's_ is truly a sad wonderful experience..." smiled the first year girl.

The Hitachiin twins blushed while sheepishly thinking, _'There she goes with the natural thing again!_'

Hunny and Mori passed by with pretty much satisfied eyes.

"Hunny-kun! Mori-kun! Do you know your partners?" asked a girl excitedly.

"Uh huh! My partner is Hoshigaki Kisame-chan!" The little bundle of joy chirped. "Takashi's partner is..."

"...Pein."

The Host club grew silent.

"Mori-sempai, we know it's painful, but..."

"No. My partner's name is Pein." Mori said.

"Oh!" The club exclaimed in unison.

Kyoya walked to them from the other side of the room while scribbling his partner's name.

"Kyo-chan? Who's your partner?" Hunny asked.

"Someone by the name of Tobi, Hunny-sempai." answered the intelligent vice president.

"To-"

"Bi?"

Haruhi and Tamaki tilted their heads simultaneously without knowing so.

"Hopefully he won't be a dolt like some people, but we must wait and see."

Tamaki's mood dropped at the comment.

"Oh ho ho ho ho!"

A power generator activated.

"Sugoi! Truly amazing!" Renge cried as the floor opened up to give her a podium. "Our partners of pure mystery and allure!" She squealed. "I'm having butterflies on who they could be!"

"Renge, quit that! If you keep doing that, your partner will kill you!"

"Hmph! What would you know, faker?!"

Tamaki shrieked as the word fell upon him, heavy as bricks.

"Kakuzu... I wonder who he could be! Kukuku!" Renge giggled giddily. (Van: Meh, saying this is fun.)

_'I feel really sorry for whoever that person is..._' thought the club.

A bell then suddenly rang and the intercom turned on.

_Students, it is time to begin the partnership program. Please look to the board to find what room you must leave to meet with your partner. Introduce yourself and from then on discuss what classes and activities you have, and vice versa. You will also study together and have lunch together. This activity may be mandatory, but we wish for our students to enjoy themselves. This is just another reason to relax in the atmosphere of Ouran High School. Good luck and have fun._

With that, the intercom ended.

"Yosh, Host club! Off to your partners!" shouted Tamaki.

"Yeah!"

The halls grew crowded as boys and girls searched for the right room excitedly. Just imagine how embarrassing it could be to give instructions on how to get to room 789, only to wander off and end up there yourself! In any case, there were also crowds that simply gather in the hallway just to hang out, yet they're blocking the area. (Van: I hate it when that happens.)

Haruhi grunted as she squeezed through the crowd to the other part of the hall. There, she saw a strange old man in a large black coat and hat with ribbons. He looked just plain grouchy. _'Could it be that he's lost?_' She thought, seeing the elder look left and right scowling. _'Huh... Maybe I could help!_' "Ano..."

The man noticed the approach of another. He shifted to see Haruhi. "Hmm?" was said gruffly.

"Are you lost, Mister?" She asked.

The elder turned away scowling more.

"Um, it's okay! Just tell me where you need to go and I'll help you!" encoraged Haruhi quickly.

The man paused before saying roughly, "C-hall. East wing."

"Oh! Really? I'm going there too!" Fujioka chirped. Surprised (and happy) at this coincidence, she led the man toward the corridor with absoulute vigor. Along the way, she commented things like "Ouran sure is a neat school, ne?" only have the reponse of a grunt.

Haruhi sweatdropped. _'Must be a silent sort of person..._'

When they finally reached the C-hall, the old man thanked Haruhi and began to search for his room number.

Tap, tap.

The man and Haruhi walked side by side, each looking for their room.

Click, clack.

The old guy suddenly noticed that Haruhi was still with him, but paid no mind. _'He must have a number that is close to mine._'

Click. Clack.

Haruhi noticed that she was going in the same direction, but brushed it off as pure coincidence._ 'Maybe he has a room close to mine._'

Tap. Tap. Stop.

There was a moment of silence.

The two stared at the number engraved in the gold metal plate. 925. There was also a carving of a clock right beside it.

Slowly, they began to acknowledge each other.

"Sasori-san?"

"Fujioka-kun?"

* * *

Van: And there you have it! The second chapter done finally! Please be sure to review on what you think! Chapter three may take a while, though. And if you want pairings, don't hesitate to suggest, but don't spend 100 reviews and pms trying to contact me, okies? 


	3. Meeting the partner

Van: Here is Three! Awaited three!

Note here! There may be spoilers! If you wish not to know certain things, please DO NOT READ!!!

Disclaimer: Naruto and Ouran are so wonderful! But naw, not mine.

Chapter Three: Meeting the partner

Ouran Private Academy is defined by...

One, prestigious families, and two, wealth.

And prosperous people have much time on their hands.

Therefore this Ouran Host Club is about...

These handsome guys that have time,

Giving hospitality to these lovely ladies that also have time,

And profiting off them.

It's an elegant game unique to this super rich school.

"And done!"

A screen turned off as a blond clicked a remote. He turned towards a group of children who seemed to have been lured in and kidnapped. "So what do you think?!" He asked excited.

The children stared. Then one particular kid named Shirou Takaouji scoffed.

"It's stupid."

* * *

_Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh_

_Kiss Kiss Fall in Love!_

----------------------------

Hunny giggled in excitement. "Wai! We're going to meet our partners!" He swung his bunny round and round. Then he noticed Mori, who was following him. The little boy smiled. "It's okay, Takashi! You don't have to worry!" reassured Hunny. "Now just go to your room number, kay?"

Mori nodded hesitantly before going the other direction.

The young 3rd year waved at his cousin before hopping while cuddling his bunny. "I wonder who our partner is, Bun-bun..." _'Maybe he'll be a fun playmate for me!_' His heart beated with excitement. _'We can eat cake together and have so much fun!_' He squealed at the thought. "Wai!" He ran at mach speed straight to the door.

The door that said 40 in golden letters and the symbol of a sword that strangely looks like something from a film... What was it? Aladdin?

_'Teehee!_' His hand reached toward the door...

* * *

Kisame sighed. After getting lost twice, he managed to find the door to his partner. As he reached for the knob, a sudden chill came over him._ 'What is this horrible feeling in my gut?_' Shaking it off, he turned the knob. Opening the door wide, he found that the room's curtains were closed. Everything seemed a bit eerie with the lack of sunlight.

_'Eh? What's that?_'

There, on the couch, was a blanket. A very much expensive looking blanket that seemed to have been used.

_'Scratch that, it's BEING used._' Kisame thought seeing the lump. He reached over and began shaking the thing. "Oy. Oy, wake up."

The lump then suddenly grew slowly.

Kisame backed away.

_'W-What's going on?!_'

The environment grew darker as little black clouds began to encircle the lump.

_'What is this?!! This feeling...!_'

The blanket then slipped a bit to reveal the face of something-that-must-not-be-seen-nor-named-nor-anything-else.

**_"I'm still sleepy..."_**

Kisame shrieked in terror.

* * *

Deidara looked at some flowers with interest. How did he end up outside? We'll never know. Upon hearing a shriek, he stood abrupt. "That sounds like Kisame-danna, un." He turned around. "But I'm surrounded by nothing... But plants."

* * *

Hidan approached a room labled 626. The door had a sort of koala-bear engraved next to it. Must be a kid thing. He narrowed his purple eyes angrilly. "So this is the room?! I had to go through too many mother(funk)ing hallways just to get here!" The white haired priest slammed open the door. "This better be worth it!"

A brown-haired onyx-eyed kid looked up at him.

Hidan stared back not knowing what to say.

Shirou proceeded to become annoyed. "If you're my partner, I already hate you."

Hidan twitched. Something bubbled within his chest and bursted like a volcano. "Like I care if you hate me you little-"

"Teacher! This man is being a bad influence! He's cursing!" The kid yelled.

Almost immediately a woman, presumably the teacher, marched right in and began bitch-slapping Hidan. Where did she come from, you ask? Well, she just happened to be walking by, 'tis all. Really!

"How dare you! Fiend! Neanderthal! Saying such things around our children!"

SLAP! SLAP!

"Ah! Aaah! Lady, you got me wrong!" Hidan cried. He then noticed the gleeful sinister look on Shirou's face. "Why, I oughta sacrifice you to Jashin-sama!"

"WAH!" The boy cried. "He's threatening me, Teacher!"

"You beast!" The teacher cried preparing a one-hit KO Hadoken attack.

"Oh... Sh-"

* * *

"**Hmmm... Room 13? Wicked!**" cried Dark Zetsu.

"But isn't 13 bad luck?" Light Zetsu asked doubtfully.

"**Who cares! It's gonna be bad luck for that other guy 'cause we're going to eat 'im!**" Dark Zetsu declared.

"Okay!" Light Zetsu said as they/he opened the door.

* * *

Kaoru hugged himself. _'Hm. Who could my partner be? Maybe... Haruhi's right. It may not be so bad as I thought._' He shook out of his thoughts as the door opened from afar. The calm Hitachiin stared. There in front of him was a man that is black, white, green, and red. His noble right bottom eyelid reactively twiched up and down. He stared continuously for a while before the man spoke.

**"You look yummy."**

'Nani?!' Kaoru thought widening his eyes.

**"My name is Zetsu."** said Dark Zetsu flirtaciously holding the Hitachiin's hand.

"Nice to meet you." Light Zetsu said as the body released the hand and they/he bowed.

* * *

Hikaru groaned lying on his back in the designated room. Where the heck was his partner?!

* * *

Meanwhile, Deidara pulled out a clay bird. As it poofed into a huge owl, he hopped right on it. "Yosh, time to find out where I am, un." Using his scope eye, he realized that the garden he was stuck in was a maze of flowers and beauty. The architecture, the trees, it all just came together in a nice design. Deidara blushed. "This place... Is amazing, yeah!" He grinned and flew to the front of the school and hopped right off his bird. "Hopefully this partner of mine will be like Sasori-danna and just leave because he hates waiting, un." But a part of him was curious, and so, after wandering a bit, he ended up at the door number 4 anyways.

This door had pink diamonds neatly held in a gold case spelling out four. Next to it was a strangely small nameplate saying 'Marvel'. Well certainly the clay user was marveling the fantastic door! So artistic! "Heh. I wonder how he/she is going to be like, hmm." He glanced at the doorknob.

It was the kind of handle that required the turning and placing of the palm on the knob. To put it simply, Deidara was **disgusted**.

_'No way am I putting my mouth on that, un!_' He glanced at his hands. His hands that are the creators of his _art_. The very hands that make those fleeting pieces magically alive and beautifully dead. His art, which he worships without a doubt. AND THEY EXPECT HIM, THE GREAT DEIDARA, THE GREAT ARTIST, TO PUT THESE SACRED RELICS ON THE FREAKIN' DOORKNOB?! Deidara growled furociously.

But then an idea came to him.

(dramatic gasp)

_'Ill just take this door down, un!_'

* * *

Hikaru Hitachiin jolted out of his sleep as a huge sound erupted in the room. Dust filled the air and debris was everywhere. He looked up surprised to find a person with long blond bangs over one eye and the rest of the hair in a very messy ponytail. _'A girl?_' The twin thought. His guess was wrong as the other spoke.

"My, my. Have you been sleeping? So sorry to have kept you waiting. My name is Deidara... And.." The blond grinned raising his arms.

"Art is... A bang!"

* * *

Konan sighed. As soon as that bell rung, everyone ran off, leaving her still standing in that same spot. Well, she wasn't one of the elite for nothing, you know. Using a paper techinique, she explored nearly every nook and cranny of the school, and found her room. The number 16. Next to it was a seal of an ice cream cone. _'Umehito Nekozawa... Who are you?_' She slowly turned the silver knob and opened the door.

From inside, the room was entirely dark save for what little dim light was given by the curtains. A great chuckling suddenly came to the kunoichi's ears and she became on guard, blue strands falling from her face.

"Konan-san, I presume?"

"Yes." She answered in preparation to attack.

"I'm glad." A figure rose from the darkness to reveal a cloaked boy with a cat hand puppet. The puppet clapped its little hands at the words of the owner.

"With you as my partner, I will tell you all that is remarkable about the darkness... You will find the dark to be so ever delightful..." The boy's blue eyes were shining with excitement.

Konan rolled her eyes a bit. "The darkness is fine, but you do need light to see." said she as the door behind her opened a bit too wide.

The daylight shined in as a strong beam. Like a laser in one of those sci-fi movies or graphics from final fantasy.

Nekozawa screech in bloody terror as the beam shined upon his darkness and he ran for sanctuary among the dark corners of the room. "MURDERER!!! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

As her partner writhed in pain, Konan closed her blue shadowed eyelids and sighed. Surely you jest? This is her partner?

* * *

Mori is a man of pure stoic. Quiet, agile, and completely capable of handling himself. He, of course, had no problem going to room 101, which had a puppy medallion planted as a crest. The third year opened the door to find a mysterious figure sitting.

"I've been waiting for you, Morinozuka-san." Pein stated as he sat up lazily. "Come, come sit."

Mori sat down on a sofa nearby. He calculated this person, who seemed to have cleary made himself at home. His eyes widened in shock. The aura... _'He's... Strong!_' the third year realized.

"Well? Are you going to say anything?" asked Pein while arching a earringed eyebrow.

Mori stared..."Ah."

Silence.

Pein regained composture. _'Yes, this is a witty one. I'll test him to see how he'll handle._' At that moment, random kunais came out of nowhere running straight for Mori.

Mori quickly dodged and deflected the sharp knives by flipping and smacking them away.

_'Good! He has agility and strength!_' Pein's eyes shined.

Mori looked at his partner, confused as to why the kunai attack.

_'Perfect_.' Pein smirked.

"Morinozuka..."

Mori became attentive... Waiting.

"Welcome to the Akatsuki."

The third year stared. "Eh?"

* * *

Kyoya sighed. This person... Certainly is late. He tilted his glasses and begain to write down a few notes. Room 300 was the exact number. Could it be that this 'Tobi' had gotten lost? He glanced up cooly as the door slammed open.

A boy ran in the room wearing an orange swirly mask and red cloud cloak, crying from the only visible hole in the orange. "WAAAH! Tobi is late! Tobi promises to be a good boy for his partner!"

Kyoya's ebony eyes widened. Then he smirked.

* * *

Kakuzu stared. _'Room 1408, eh?_' He pondered for a bit._ 'Wait. Isn't that a horror movie?_' Pushing that aside, he opened the door.

* * *

Renge, of course, had many fantasies of who this Kakuzu person is. _'Maybe a prince or even a star!_' She squealed at the thought. She then grinned impishly as the door opened_. 'Kukuku! Here he comes!_' Yes, she did not consider the possibility that Kakuzu may be female, but that doesn't matter. What she didn't expect was a guy in a black red cloudy cloak with a mask on as a cheap arabian/asian cosplayer or something. And are those wrinkles?! 

Before Kakuzu could say anything, Renge cried out in anguish.

"Aargh!"

The old money lover stared in shock.

"What is this?! What is this?!" Renge wailed in horror. She proceeded to rant. "Those clothes that are tattered and worn, that hat that gives no reason of flattery, that veil! What is with that veil!!!" She then began a speech about how women wouldn't be impressed and all.

And for some reason, she suddenly stopped.

The Akatsuki member was about to open his mouth, but she suddenly spoke again.

"So you are my partner, Kakuzu?"

The man answered "Yes." awkwardly.

"Tell me about yourself."

Is this an interview? Nonetheless the guy told her, "I am but a humble businessman of my er, organization."

"Oho! Really? What do you do?"

"We do requests. A sort of service for customers if you will." Kakuzu said pleasantly.

"Has business been declining?"

"Why yes!" Kakuzu said in realization.

The first year girl hopped up and down. "And are you running out of ways to stop the spending and promote the gaining?!"

"Yes! My goodness, yes!" Kakuzu said with the excitement burning in his veins.

"Then be glad for Renge is here!" The girl said determined pointing off in the distance.

Kakuzu immediately changed his mind. Initially, he was just going to take his partner's heart simply because one of his were deteriorating, but there is something clever about her that he didn't have the heart (Van: boopunboo.) to do so. Besides... This proposal seems intriguing.

* * *

Tamaki squirmed in his seat excited. _'Princess, oh I can't wait!_' His amethyst eyes shined as he hugged a pillow, practically smothering it. "Oh once I gather you in my arms, I will tell you how pretty you a-re!" He sang doing the walz with the cushion.

* * *

Itachi 'hmned' at the room number. Seven. How lucky. He opened the door slowly in preparation.

Almost immediately, a blond blur rushed at him.

The Uchiha, practically unprepared for this, held out two fingers and struck.

At a really huge coincidence, the prodigy's fingers touched the hyper king's forehead. Tamaki then fell back to the ground. "Oof!" (Van: Finger power!)

Itachi lowered his hand cooly in disbelief.

Tamaki then quickly stood. "Oh sorry about that." He gave his most charming smile. "I was going to do that to my partner. Are you lost? I can help by pointing out the way." A field of roses randomly appeared behind him and the president held up a white rose. "After all," he chuckled arrogantly. "I am a second year, and oh the advantages of being a second year!" He began to babble about how second years beat being a first year and is more better than being a third year.

Itachi stared at the fool that was sparkling in his self-arrogance in front of him. "Suoh-kun, is it?"

"Oho! So you know my name already? Not that it's surprising, but yes! I am the great Tamaki Suoh! The king (and president) of the Ouran High School Host Club." The upbeat blond declared.

Itachi scoffed. "I could care less."

"Uwah!" Tamaki was so crushed, he fell to a corner crying.

Itachi sat down waiting for the other to stop.

Half an hour passed and the king finished sniffling. "Well, now it's time for you to go find the right room number. What was it again?" Tamaki asked, little puppy ears appearing on his chibi face.

"Seven." He answered.

"Seven?" Tamaki perked up. "Oh I know seven! Seven is... Why... Seven is right here... This is... Room seven..." His voice trailed off. Tamaki scrunched up his face in thought. "A-ano... What's your name?"

"Itachi Uchiha."

"O-oh." Tamaki gulped. "And... Who's your partner?"

"Someone by the name of Suoh Tamaki." Itachi said. His amused answer echoed tenfold on the king's mind.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Silence.

"WAAAAH!" Screamed the king as his fantasies were destroyed in an instant.

* * *

Van: And thus the partners are revealed! For those too lazy to remember, here's the partner-up: Tamaki & Itachi, Renge & Kakuzu, Kyoya & Tobi, Mori & Pein, Nekozawa & Konan, Hikaru & Deidara, Kaoru & Zetsu, Shirou Takaouji (the naughty boy) & Hidan, Hunny & Kisame, and Haruhi & Sasori! There is something funny about those room numbers... Venture a guess? Get a cookie! XD Please tell me what you think! 


	4. Introduction and Etiquette

Van: Thank you **Foxy** (Zetsu won't eat 'em!), **Iruka92** (Glad you like my fic!), **aoimizuneko** (Buddy! Thanks so much for reading and faving and alerting!!! X3), **venG** (Thank you!), **ValkyrieX **(Hiya! Glad to see me working on another fic, eh? I know what you mean about Ouran/Naruto crossovers. The good ones are discontinued and the ones that are ongoing usually aren't that great grammar-wise or plotwise... Not that this fic has one! XD) **Teagarden**, (Thank you very much/blush/) **Jean Marie Darkholme**, ( Oh thank you!) **ShadowYashi** (WAI! HUG!!!) **Animemusic16 **(yah, poor dudes.) **Willowfae** (I finally did it) **kay-chan of the leaf **(Thank you) and **Chimiri **(Haruhi and Itachi? Hmmm... I dunno. He'll probably kill her first.) You guys are so great!

Van: I can't believe no one caught onto the room numbers! Ah well, here they are. X3 Everyone gets cookies regardless!

_**Sasori & Haruhi**_ //////////////////////////////////////////////////Room: 925///////////////////////////////////////// Movie: Nine to Five

_**Kisame & Hunny**_ ////////////////////////////////////////////////Room: 40/////////////////////////////////////////// Movie: Aladdin and the Fourty Thieves

**_Hidan & Shirou_ **/////////////////////////////////////////////////Room: 626///////////////////////////////////////// Movie: Lilo and Stitch

_**Zetsu & Kaoru**_ ////////////////////////////////////////////////Room: 13 ////////////////////////////////////////// Myth: Unlucky 13

_**Deidara & Hikaru**_ //////////////////////////////////////////Room: 4 //////////////////////////////////////////// Movie: Fantastic Four

_**Konan & Nekozawa**_ /////////////////////////////////////Room: 16 ///////////////////////////////////////// Movie: Sweet Sixteen

_**Pein & Mori**_ ////////////////////////////////////////////////Room: 101 /////////////////////////////////////// Movie: 101 Dalmations

_**Tobi & Kyoya**_ ///////////////////////////////////////////Room: 300 ////////////////////////////////////// Movie: 300

_**Kakuzu & Renge**_ /////////////////////////////////////Room: 1408 ///////////////////////////////////// Horror Movie: 1408

_**Itachi & Tamaki**_ //////////////////////////////////////Room: 7 ////////////////////////////////////////// Movie: Seven

Note here! There may be spoilers! If you wish not to know certain things, please DO NOT READ!!!

Disclaimer: Nunca es mio.

Chapter Four: Introduction and Etiquette

Ouran Private Academy is defined by...

One, prestigious families, and two, wealth.

And prosperous people have much time on their hands.

Therefore this Ouran Host Club is about...

These handsome guys that have time,

Giving hospitality to these lovely ladies that also have time,

And profiting off them.

It's an elegant game unique to this super rich school.

"And done!"

A screen turned off as a blond clicked a remote. He turned towards a group of girls in outfits that had the crest of Lobelia. "So what do you think?!" He asked excited.

The girls stared. Then one of the women pointed a finger angrilly.

"What does _that_ got to do with us?!

* * *

_Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh_

_Kiss Kiss Fall in Love!_

----------------------------

"So... Sasori-san... Now's the part where we have to introduce ourselves. You want to go first?" Haruhi asked

Sasori growled. How did he end up with this person? Absolutely ironic.

Haruhi mistook his growl as an act of defiance and sweatdropped. "O-okay... I'll go first then. My name is Haruhi Fujioka. I am a first year here. Ehe." She waited for a response. Seeing as how he didn't say anything, she continued. "I take the basics on the special honors program. My dream is... To be a lawyer, like my mother." She gave a pure smile, one that made Sasori freeze.

Of all the things, none of his puppets had ever smiled like that...

Of course, Haruhi couldn't see that since our puppet Akatsuki is in Hiruko as of this moment! The poor girl noticed that Sasori didn't change his scowling face one bit.

Haruhi sweatdropped. "Uh hahaha, well um, let's see... Activities... Well, I am a member of the Ouran High School Host Club."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Silence.

Within Sasori's mind was chaos. _'HOST CLUB?! HOST CLUB?! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THERE IS NO BIJUU HOST BUT A HOST CLUB?!_'

"Eheh... Tamaki-sempai sure is an animal though. Like a dog out of control..." Haruhi's voice trailed off in thought.

Meanwhile, Sasori's intelligent mind was blowing out of proportion

-----Sasori's Mind Theater!-----

_A certain blond boy with whisker markings on his cheeks grinned as he and another certain boy, that had red hair and a kanji on his forehead that said 'Love', were dressed in smexy waiter/bartender outfits._

_"How can we serve you today?" winked Naruto._

_"KYAAA!"_

_Gaara leaned against the bar counter. "I think one of these ladies would be a wonderful taste tester."_

_The girls giggle._

_"Oh come on, Gaara! You're going to spend the rest of the day tasting them!"_

_The one-tailed bijuu host pouted. "Now that's not fair, Naruto..."_

_Then the two suddenly linked arms while kicking left and right._

_"Oh we are the Jinchuuriki hosts!" They sang similar to the tune of Big and Loud from Cats don't dance. "And we're about to become ghosts!"_

_Naruto and Gaara spun each other around like in the tango._

_"Oh we are the Jinchuuriki hooo-oooosts!"_

_Gaara led Naruto to the side and they both suddenly had top hats and canes._

_"And the Akatsuki are gonna make us toooo-ooooaaaaast!"_

_"Yeah!" Naruto finished and Gaara and him left the stage._

-----End Sasori's Inner Theater-----

Sasori shook his head. _'He must think I'm a fool, that is if he knows who I am and my purpose... But if I was a Jinchuuriki, I wouldn't go about telling anyone, especially in a school like this._' "Fujioka-kun."

"Eh?" Haruhi asked surprised at the fact that he actually spoke again.

"What can you tell me about this host club?"

* * *

Kisame sweadropped. After seeing the scariest sight ever, the kid just dropped down back to sleep after dragging him down on the couch. Yes. This "Hanninozuka" scary kid senior thing of a monstrocity is **on his lap**. _'Gee, you'd think that a lame flamboyant school like this wouldn't have demons. Maybe this is a jinchuuriki? He seems more than qualified..._' 

Hunny smiled in his nap and curled snuggling against Kisame.

Our favorite shark-man stiffened while widening his eyes. Inner thoughts: **G-Guh?! **

* * *

**"You have fabulous hair."** Dark Zetsu grinned. 

Kaoru laughed. "Ehehehe... Thanks."

"Your name is Kaoru Hitachiin? That's a nice name!" Light Zetsu exclaimed.

"Haha, thank you." The twin, after speaking with 'Zetsu' a bit, found that the other had two separate conciousness, or entities. One is the nice Zetsu, polite and well-mannered enough. The other personality was more scary, the dangerous Zetsu, whose motivation seemed unknown. What's really funny was that when they spoke, the body didn't seem to have any sign of lip movement.

Light Zetsu then spoke up, "Oh by the way, if you're worried about being eaten,"

**"We ate a cow."** finished Dark.

Kaoru twitched in surprise. What?! Don't tell me it was from the Ouran cafeteria!

Meanwhile at the kitchens there was mayhem and mass panic as the cook reported a missing cow. (Van: I know, kitchens only recieve the meat, not the cow, but let's just say this one was for the milk! XD)

* * *

Mori sweatdropped as he was forced into a weird cloak. Is this something that he needs?

* * *

Hikaru Hitachiin, one of the sons of the most refined families abandoned all pride and screeched while hiding behind a couch as the blond began randomly throwing clay animals left and right yelling _**"Katsu!"**_

**:BOOM!:**

Deidara laughed maniacally as he threw more in random directions. "Katsu!"

**:BOOM!:**

Hikaru prayed. Oh he prayed! _'Please let me live!!!_'

**:BOOM!:**

After a while, there seemed to be a pause... As though the Hitachiin's prayers have been answered. Hikaru looked up slowly.

At the same time from the front of the couch, a mop of blond hair slowly raised up.

Hikaru stared at a wide blue eye.

Grin. "Un."

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" A pure screech of terror escaped the poor Hitachiin and he tried to run!

Deidara grabbed the twin's suit, careful not to touch his palm mouths of course, and pulled him back while grinning. "Leaving your partner hanging? Hmph! You're really rude, un."

"Let go, you crazy psychopath!!" Hikaru thrashed wildly.

"Huh. I like you already." (Van: Not that way! Naughty, naughty!)

Hikaru gasped and backed up to a nearby wall as soon as Deidara released him. Darn it! Where's Kaoru when you need him?! He's the one that's better at handling such situations than him! _'Okay._' He told himself. _'Start over._' He inhaled a deep breath and reached out for hand shake. "My name is Hikaru Hitachiin."

Deidara regarded the hand warily before a light bulb appeared on top of his brilliant head._ 'Oho!_' He grinned and raised his hand.

The twin's eyes widened. Was that a pair of lips?!

"Pleased to meet you. Deidara. I'm new."

Hikaru's eyes grew wider.

The mouth opened revealing pearly white teeth and a lolling tongue which wriggled in the air mockingly.

This was too much for the refined Hitachiin twin. His auburn eyes rolled to the back of his head, shut by eyelids, and he fell back blacked out.

The Akatsuki blond bursted out laughing. He looked at the unconscious boy with glee. "I look forward to showing you my art, un."

* * *

Mori sweatdropped even more as he was given a hat. Does he **really** need this?

* * *

"My name is Konan. I am a girl new to this school and my interests would be paper folding." The woman sat back on the chair. 

"Umehito Nekozawa. I am a boy not new to this school and my interests would be the Dark Arts, kukuku... Origami. Splendid, splendid." The Black Magic president clasped Konan's hand as Bereznoff snuggled her other. "You will have so much joy in the darkness."

Konan sweatdropped. Precisely what interpretation of the darkness does this boy have? She pitied the boy, who doesn't know pain.

"Hm... That flower of yours... Could you make a black one and wear it?" Nekozawa asked excited, to which he received a pat on the head.

Konan rubbed the cape-covered head affectionately. She found the behavior a little cute, so humor him.

* * *

Hidan growled at the brat. Well, it was a miracle that he was even alive after the crazy woman's blows. 

The teacher had left after giving the Akatsuki member her "warning".

Shirou, the kid, grinned impishly. "Well? Aren't you going to introduce yourself?"

Hidan scoffed. "I ain't doing sh-"

"Teachhhheeeerr!"

The white haired priest panicked. "Nonono! I'm behaving!"

"Never mind!" called Shirou.

Hidan scowled as soon as the coast was clear.

The brat grinned widely at his obvious control.

* * *

Mori sweatdropped a lot more as he was handed a ring. Does he seriously need this?

* * *

Kakuzu and Renge began working the details on how the Akatsuki was going gain by partnering up with the Ouran High School Host Club. 

"And then we'll initiate Plan B at the end of the month!"

"What's Plan B?"

"Plan Bishounen of course!" The girl cried with glee.

Kakuzu and Renge both laughed. Surprisingly they laughed too much alike.

* * *

Kyoya then began writing in his notebook. "Ah. So you are Tobi, hm? And just what are your interests?" 

"Oh! Tobi likes... Tobi likes..." The masked man began to shake.

The vice president noticed the behavior and raised an elegant eyebrow. "Tobi? Are you alright?"

"Y-YES! It's... It's just that..." And tears flowed from the one hole in the orange mask. "No one ever asked Tobi what Tobi likes!!! Kyouya-san is the first, so... So... Waaah!"

Kyouya secretly smirked and wrote in his notebook, _'Personality: Sucker._'

* * *

Mori's eyes widened as Pein took out nail polish. Okay! Now he knows he doesn't need this! The third year decided to run for it. 

Pein hummed happily as he pulled out a few bottles from his jacket. "Morinozuka-san, do you like Pukey Pink or maybe Blue Bum? Gunky Green perhaps? That was Sasori's favorite." The leader of the Akatsuki widened his head as he noticed Mori running away. Oh no! He hadn't even given the guy the initiation speech and **already** he wants to cause chaos?

Mori rushed out, and in a flash he was at the end of the hall. No way was he going to paint his nails anything! Especially Pukey Pink!

Pein ran after yelling, "Wait, wait! The most important part needs to be done first!!!"

Mori didn't want to hear it. The guy's obviously crazy!

* * *

Tamaki sweatdropped. Okay, according to the teachers, you have to introduce yourselves, right? Well here goes nothing. "Ahaha... Uh..." 

At Itachi's sudden cough, the king lost it all.

"Tamaki-Suoh-second-year-hobbies-well-I-recently-had-a-thing-for-commoner's-things-and-I-enjoy-making-princesses-happy-and-as-a-child-I've-always-liked-the-piano! Height:6-feet-something Weight:Something-or-other!" The King gulped a breath before continuing, "And-I'm-blond-so-don't-hurt-me!"

The Uchiha stared.

Tamaki breathed out. "Phew."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Silence.

"Itachi Uchiha. I have no hobby. And I am a new student here, Tamaki-kun." The fine Akatsuki member turned his head away in boredom.

Tamaki twitched. _'Why... Why isn't my partner a princess?!_' He frowned. This person reminded him of a combination of Kyouya and Mori-sempai. He twitched. "Ne... Itachi-san... If we don't get to know each other, this isn't going to work! Which is why I have this booklet summarizing 16 years of happiness! You may borrow this for the time being." He handed the book to the other.

Itachi stared at the thick small book in his hands. This is a summary?!

"Ne, ne? Itachi-san, even though my life is positively exciting and I don't blame you for starting to read right away, I want to ask, Is there anything particularly interesting that you'd like to tell me?"

The Uchiha closed his eyes. "I've killed my clan."

Tamaki's violet eyes widened. He dramatically jumped out of his chair and backed far, far away against the wall._ 'N-nani?! They paired me up with this man?! They, they can't do that! I'm too important to lose! What will the Host Club do without me?!_' He shivered at the thought._ 'They will mourn for me! Especially Haruhi!_'

-----Tamaki's Inner Theater!-----

_A beautiful white grave of porcelain stood ontop a lonely hill. A tree stood beside it, displaying white petals flowing in the wind. Standing in front of the stone was the host club dressed in black._

_"Ne... Kyoya... We should have..."_

_"But it's too late now..."_

_"Hush! Haru-chan's speaking."_

_A solemn Haruhi in a pure white dress walked forth. "Sempai... You did so much for this club... And to protect my secret... I..." Tears fell down her cheeks._

_As does the rest of the club._

_"Boohohohohooo! Milord!"_

_"If only we treated you better!"_

_"If only we had truly seen you for what you're worth!"_

_"If only... I told you that I..." Haruhi whispered. "But... It's too late now..."_

_"Goodbye... Tamaki..."_

-----End Tamaki's Mind Theater!-----

"Nooo! I'm right here!" Tamaki shouted to thin air.

_'Who is he talking to?_' Itachi wondered.

Suddenly at that moment the intercom went on.

_Congratulations for completing phase one of the Ouran High School Partnership Program. We wish you the very best of luck of getting to know your new companion. From henceforth, you will treat your partner as your very own best friend. You will sit next to your partner in lunch. You will participate in activities your partner is involved in and vice versa. Group activities are fine, yet not recommended, as we wish for you to form a complete bond with your partner. At the sound of the bell, you may begin to go to class._

_

* * *

_

Haruhi smiled after telling all about the Host Club. She felt a bit proud, really. I mean, she was being actively involved with something that she really did enjoy, even though it's really wild. She noticed that for a long time... Scratch that... The entire time spent with Sasori, he didn't move anything... Weird.

Sasori thought of what to say in the situation. Apparently he'll have to come up with something really witty. After all, he's inside Hiruko. But before he could say anything, the intercom went on.

_Congratulations for completing phase one of the Ouran High School Partnership Program. We wish you the very best of luck of getting to know your new companion. From henceforth, you will treat your partner as your very own best friend. You will sit next to your partner in lunch. You will participate in activities your partner is involved in and vice versa. Group activities are fine, yet not recommended, as we wish for you to form a complete bond with your partner. At the sound of the bell, you may begin to go to class._

"Eh? Already?" Haruhi wondered.

At that moment, a large bell rang through the halls, indicating time for class.

The first year turned to Sasori smiling. "Well, it's time for class, ne? I'll help you get your schedule."

Due to the fact that the just-made profiles of the Akatsuki had hardly any info, the members of Akatsuki were put into classes based on the way they looked.

Itachi was a second year. B.

Kisame: Second year. B.

Hidan: First year. (Eh?!) Okay fine. **Second**. C.

Kakuzu: Second year. C.

Deidara: Second year. B. (Away from Tobi! Yes!)

Tobi: First year. A.

Pein: Second year. A.

Konan: Second year. A.

Sasori... Third year. A.

Indeed, Sasori had been the only one considered third year material despite the fact that Kakuzu was close. Haruhi had a very hard time trying to help the poor guy get to his classes since the map was pretty much outdated during the last few months. (The school had rennovations.) Things went pretty smoothly however. It wasn't so bad.

Sasori stared at the screen that the teacher displayed. "And this is the process of ATP production. Repeat after me: The process of ATP production."

"The process of ATP production," The class chorused.

"Very good."

Sasori twitched from inside his puppet. This was so aggravating! I mean, why can't the guy move onto the more interesting stuff like how the immune system reacts to certain chemicals?

"Cellular respiration occurs in mitochondria. Class?"

"Cellular respiration occurs in mitochondria."

"Very good."

Sasori growled. And where was everyone else? Surely he couldn't be **the only third year in the Akatsuki**, is he?

* * *

_Second year B class..._

Deidara frowned as he looked at the board. Writing? What's so artistic about writing? (Van: Ooooh, you are so dead after this, Deidara.) He narrowed his visible eye. Then he glanced at the students in the back. They weren't even paying attention, hmph! If that's the case, then why should he? Then he grinned. Well, there's one advantage to being a ninja.

Click.

Who needs notes when you've got the scope eye?

Kisame from the second row sighed. Boy, he's still shaken up from his encounter with the kid... Wait. That kid was a third year?! Kisame's eyes widened at the realization from seeing the name on a piece of paper naming the seniors on the bill board. Oh hell... That guy really is scary! He shivered uncontrollably.

Itachi, who was sitting next to him, sighed. "Pathetic, Hoshigaki Kisame."

"Hey don't give me that! That so-called partner of mine is a demon!"

"Why thank you."

"I didn't mean you."

Shrug.

* * *

_Second year A class..._

Konan wrote down notes and thought to herself a bit. If indeed they were going to pretend to be students here, especially one as high classed as this school, wouldn't there be some objection? Especially since there's not a single profile of them? She narrowed her blue eyes. Surely Pein has a plan.

Pein, in the meantime, scribbled in his notebook. So all they had to study for is a test on Shakespeare anatomy tomorrow? Wait... Isn't anatomy a fancy word for the human body? Is this teacher for real? Or did he mean antagony? The leader of the Akatsuki must know. He raised his hand.

"Yes... Er, Pein?"

"I must ask why we're trying to study William Shakespeare's anatomy."

The teacher blinked. "Why?"

Another hand raised.

"Uh, yes... Kyoya?"

Kyoya stood. "If I recall correctly, anatomy is a term used to describe the human body. To have a test on Shakespeare's anatomy is absurd...

"Unless you're in Biology." added Pein

The teacher sweatted. "Well..."

"Ne, come to think of it sensei, I haven't seen you here before. Are you a substitute teacher?"

The man twitched.

"No, I've looked in the profiles when I was bored. He's not in there."

"Really? Is he a stalker then?"

The man sweatted a bit way too much.

"What's going on here?"

"Oh, principal Suoh!"

The man's eyes widened. He sweatdropped niagra falls.

"Oh, Mr. Taka? I thought you teach in the Second year D-class Biochemistry class." said Tamaki's father.

Mr. Taka cried. "I'm sorry! I really am! I just wanted to teach the A-class just this once!" He whimpered. "Mr. Scotch was bored of his class, so we decided to switch for the day. I didn't mean any harm, really!"

"Alright, alright, just calm down."

Soon after, the second years rejoiced.

They didn't have to study for the test for another week.

Pein smirked. Boy, was he proud of his accomplishment.

* * *

_Second year C class..._

Hidan looked at the board in dismay. What the heck was that supposed to mean?!

"Hola. Me llamo Senora Guatemala. Hoy es Miercoles, y ahora saquen sus libros. Pagina sesenta y cinco." The woman smiled.

Hidan twitched. Jashin certainly didn't permit any gibberish. Where is this lady getting these words from?

Kakuzu sighed from behind his Akatsuki partner. This was going to be a very difficult time.

Poor Senora Guatemala. She had the most scariest fright attack from Hidan going with his scythe. Fortunately, Senior Kakuzu was able to stop him in time and even gave the excuse that he was practicing for a play.

"I'm going to keel you, heathen!"

"And keel me you shall, fine warrior." Kakuzu said annoyed dragging him back to the seat.

* * *

_First year A class..._

Tobi didn't mind too much of being in the class... But it was a bit scary considering that he's the only Akatsuki member in the first year A class. It didn't really bother him.

Unfortunately it bothered a certain pair of twins and commoner.

_'What's with this new guy? It's irritating!_' thought Hikaru.

_'Why's he wearing a mask? It's not Halloween..._' thought Kaoru.

_'Hm... It's kind of strange... Like a basketball..._' thought Haruhi.

_'Is he a kind of alien?_' thought all three.

Tobi twitched a bit and shivered. He then tilted his head.

_'Eeeh? Is he signalling to his alien friends?_' wondered Haruhi and the twins.

A huge bubble then came from the mask and Tobi laid forward.

_'ARGH! He's taking a nap!_' thought the three in dismay.

* * *

_Second year B class... Again._

"And it was this era long, long ago that the Hyuuga clan killed off the Uchiha clan because of their superior abilities."

Itachi stiffened. WHAT?!

"The Hyuuga also established the military police in Konoha."

Oh that World History teacher did NOT say that!

Kisame's eyes widened. Oh no, Leader didn't give the order to kill yet! "Hey Itachi! Deactivate your sharingan right now." He hissed urgent.

"No... For the sake of my family, I must kill."

"But you killed your family!"

"That doesn't mean I didn't kill the reputation..." Itachi's sharingan began to spin. "We're still number one. The fact that I was able to kill them proves that Uchiha is the top of the clan chart."

"Come on, Itachi! I thought you hated the Uchiha clan!"

"But they weren't killed by Hyuuga... I destroyed them. I should be the one written in the text book!"

Kisame cringed back in horror. "Deidara! Help me out!" He signalled to the bomb artist.

Unfortunately, Deidara shot back, "Heck no. He's your partner and I'm not helping **him**." And with that, he whipped around, smacking a poor guy in the face with his ponytail.

"Oof."

"Sumimasen, un."

Poor Itachi. He didn't get to bring honor to his family. Not at all. Because of the bell telling that it was the end of that class and the teachers have to go switch to the next class.

* * *

_Back with the Third year A class..._

Sasori got annoyed. It was some teacher advertising for some random college... Blah, blah, your future depends on it, blah. Blah, major, blah. This school gives blah programs. Blah. The poor puppet master was just about to faint from the lecture...

Hunny and Mori were actually more than intimidated by Sasori, who was sitting right next to them. What exactly is an old cranky guy doing there anyway?

Sasori sighed, making Hiruko do the same. It's so pathetic.

"Wah..." Hunny cried. The man looked too scary to be true.

Sasori turned his head. Hm. How could any senior be that childish?

The poor little blonde noticed the look and leaped into his cousin's arms. "Takashiiii!" He bawled.

Mori patted Hunny and handed him Bun-bun.

Instantly, the mood shifted into happiness. Hunny giggled as Mori made a squeaky voice for Bun-bun. Telling the little third year to not be sad.

Sasori witnessed this change with surprise. Is he really a senior?

* * *

_Second year class B... Once again._

Kisame stared at the video in shock.

_"And this is how most sharks mate. Here is a female giving birth to children now_." said the monotone narrator.

Sweat poured from the Akatsuki member's brow. His face became crimson.

_"Sharks are very nutritious and beneficial to health.._."

Kisame's eyes grew wide.

_"Asian culture even includes making soup out of these marine creatures_."

The poor man couldn't take it and broke down just as the Chinese man was drinking Shark Fin soup from his bowl.

"Kisame! What's gotten into you?!"

Kisame bawled loudly, "You're sick! You all are sick! Looking at that porn!"

"Porn?! What?!"

Itachi patted his back as Deidara explained that Kisame had a pet shark once, had a tragic experience with it's death, and was never the same when it came to it.

"Poor Scruffy. It was given to him as a birthday present on his twelth birthday, un. Considering that his parents never cared for him, this was something huge. But then... One day, while Kisame was taking care of Scruffy, his mom came and told him to clean Scruffy's tank, yeah. Kisame obeyed and placed Scruffy in the sink while he scrubbed the glass. His dad was a hen-pecked rooster sort of guy. So when his dad was told to do the dishes, he obeyed. First he got his gloves. Kisame didn't know. He just kept scrubbing and scrubbing, hmph. His dad put on his gloves and pulled the rubber stopper. Kisame scrubbed right up to the moment... When the switched turned on. He turned his head and saw... Scruffy went down the drain, un. Shark gore went everywhere, un. He was never the same since." Deidara finished clasping his hands as though in prayer.

The teacher got annoyed. "And how exactly would you know this?"

"Kisame told Itachi who told Hidan who told Kakuzu who told Tobi who told Zetsu who told Sasori who told me!" chirped the blond happily.

Kisame kept sobbing. "They even filmed her privates... She didn't do anything wrong! Why did they do that?!"

"There, there, Kisame. There are fools in this world that obviously have no respect whatsoever." Itachi said rubbing his back.

Kisame turned his head and found Samehada. Oh yes... He's definitely going to cut up some limbs tonight. Before he could do anything, however, he was forced down. "I-Itachi?!"

"If I can't kill that World History teacher, then you can't kill this Biology teacher." said the Uchiha emotionlessly.

Kisame sighed in defeat. Looking at the VCR, he scowled.

"After school, you're dead."

* * *

_Lunchtime with your partners..._

"Hikaru!"

"Kaoru!"

"NOOOOOOoooooo!" The twins cried as they were forced apart by the security guards. According to the program, you have to be with your partner, those whom the twins were trying to escape.

Deidara was annoyed as Hikaru was dragged to his side. "My partner keeps escaping, Sasori-danna. Un."

"Reasonable." Sasori answered from next to Haruhi.

"Grr... I have to go to the middle school cafeteria. See you." Hidan grunted as he stood to leave.

The Akatsuki stared._ 'Hidan didn't curse?!_'

"The (Bleep) with it! Stupid (funk)ing brat! Thinks he can (funk) with me, huh?! Well I'll show him!!" shouted Hidan as he left.

The Host club and Akatsuki sweatdropped.

Tamaki looked over to Haruhi's partner. My goodness, that student looks like someone out of a ganster house! What are they called again?! Oh yeah, pimp. Pimp! Oh no, he has to warn Haruhi! The Suoh quickly wrote a note and folded it into a paper airplane. _'Fly, my little plane! Fly!_'

Unfortunately, Sasori caught the note using Hiruko's tail. Pulling the note open, the puppet master stared at the message.

_'Haru-chan! That man isn't safe to be your partner! Strangers could force you to go do things for 5 cents an hour! Meet me at the main lobby and we'll talk to my father in order to switch to another partner! (Preferably me.) From, a concerned father._'

Haruhi peered over Sasori's (Or rather Hiruko's) shoulder. "Eh? What's that, Sasori-san?" She read the note and stared. "Tamaki-sempai... Is this supposed to be a date?"

"Huh?! What do you mean?!"

Haruhi looked on annoyed. "Meet me at the main lobby, sempai. You truly are a hentai."

"What are you talking about?! It's so that you could switch partners! Besides, how could you have known it was me?!"

"Easy. Who would call themself my father?"

"Waaah! Haruhi!"

Konan sat at a different table who was full of Black Magic club members. The girl stared as all the members grinned devilishly. Apparently they took her as a sister of darkness... How quaint.

Nekozawa chuckled darkly and Bereznoff clapped it's hands. After school will be Konan's initiation into the club... Definitely can't wait.

Back at the group, Kakuzu spent plenty of time discussing things about the Akatsuki's finances with Renge. "So after school?"

The bubbly girl nodded. "Hai. After school."

"Fufufufu..." The two chuckled. Will Akatsuki remain the same?

Deidara spent time telling Hikaru the beauty of his art. "And then the living form would spring to life, fluttering. And destroyed in an instance, un. And that is the beauty of explosions, un. Art is a blast."

Hikaru shook. "Can someone please take me away from him?"

"Sorry Hikaru. I'm kind of stuck myself." Kaoru muttered as Zetsu patted the Hitachiin on the head.

Hunny looked over to Kisame's lunch box with big eyes.

Kisame twitched. "W-what do you want?"

"Ne, Kisa-chan? Can I have your cookie?" Hunny asked smiling. Flowers surrounded the blond boy.

"K-Kisa-chan?!" cried the shark man in shock.

"If you give it to me, you can have this!" The boy slid one of his side dishes to the other. "It's really good fish!"

Kisame immediately forgot the nickname. "Done!"

"Wai!" said Hunny happily.

Mori's eyes widened. Oh no, Hunny needs his protein! He quickly signalled to Kisame to not do it, only to find Pein suddenly sitting next to him.

"Now... Your nails." The leader of Akatsuki said darkly.

Mori gulped.

Haruhi tilted her head. Come to think of it, why was Mori-sempai wearing new clothes? Is it for a play? She turned to find the same new first year sitting next to Kyoya._ 'Oh! So that's Kyoya's partner?_'

Tobi sighed content. Apparently while no one was looking, he ate all of his lunch.

Itachi stood to go buy his lunch. The line was much shorter now, so... but before he even walked another step, a girl got in his way.

"A-ano... I made too much and I was hoping if you would accept this lunch..."

Some girls nearby gasped.

Itachi didn't even say a word and already women flocked over to give him an already made lunch. Mostly bought, of course. Rich kids never did had time for home cooking... Or they're just lazy.

Tamaki Suoh, president of the Ouran High School Host club, stared at the scene with dismay. "Th-those are the girls that usually request me! How did he get ahold of them so quickly?!"

Kyoya wrote a note in his book. "Oh. Well, that's what happens when a new type emerges."

Haruhi sweatdropped. He was making things worse! But she gazed at all the Akatsuki members present at the table. They didn't look so bad. Haruhi smiled. "So... You all are our partners, ne? I hope that we'll have a great month together." The sparkle in her eyes were enhanced by the sunlight and she tilted her head, brown bangs swayed

The Akatsuki stared at the girl. Whom they think is a boy. Most of them at that moment turned their heads away blushing, telling themselves that this was a guy.

Tamaki noticed that Itachi was one of them. _'My partner likes my daughter?! No way!!!_' His purple eyes narrowed._ 'I won't allow it._' "Listen, Ita-AH!" He cried as a banana peel from out of nowhere (Van: Where do they come from, really?) came right underneath his shoe and the king fell right on top of his partner with a plop.

The girls gasped as their minds replayed the scene in slow motion, complete with roses.

Tamaki froze with wide eyes. Did he just... Felt the body of another man?!

Itachi pushed the second year off him and sat on the table and ate one of the lunches as though it was nothing.

Tamaki Suoh twitched and turned at a very emotionless Haruhi.

"Never knew you bat for both teams, sempai."

Lighting seemed to fall from the sky and hit the king as though he was a lightning rod. "Nooooo!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Hidan growled as he sat in a table full of middle school kids.

"Ne, nii-chan! How old are you?"

"I'm immortal."

"What's immortal?"

"It means he's really, really old!" Shirou said loudly. "I mean, you can tell by his white hair."

Hidan's vein from his forehead popped. "That's it kid! You are so-"

"Sensei! He's threatening me, sensei!"

"No wait!" Hidan cried as he was hurled into the air by a very much furious teacher. Man, his life su- stinks.

* * *

Van: Well, that's it for that! Next chapter: The Akatsuki stays after school for a host club meeting while Konan and Nekozawa hangs out in the Black Magic club! Will Zetsu stay full by that cow? Will any host survive the Akatsuki ninjas? Will Hidan survive being with Shirou? Stay tuned. X3 Please tell me what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

Van: Hi everyone! It's been a long time hasn't it? (whistles)

Everyone: BAKA! IT'S BEEN TWO EFFING YEARS!!!

Van: Eek! I'm sorry! So, I've been round Deviantart nowadays and decided to continue the fanfic there. I'm just on there more often nowadays. So yeah! Fighting Dreamers Ouran style, SOTB, and possibly Shinigami Doll will be continued there, but for the most part, I'll just stay on SOTB just to be safe. See you there!

My Account on Deviantart: **kuroku2(dot)deviantart(dot)com**

If you have any questions PLEASE note me there! I'm so sorry for the wait!


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